End Genesis
by Legacy
Summary: I am all that is foul...I am the bitterness that steals your very breath...I am the hideous images that follows me whenever I sleep...I am Shinji Ikari.


Disclaimer: Evangelion and all it's characters are the sole property of Gainax.  
  
A/N: I don't know if this has been done before. If it has...I_ll send you a picture of me not caring...  
  
End Genesis  
  
by Legacy  
  
Prologue: Chaos  
  
Delusional Paranoia. That's what some people would say I have. Like it's my fault they can't see the images I've seen. The carnage...The horrors...All I seem to remember are the nightmares. Wicked visions of tormented beings. Mutilated creatures so horrifying that not even the gods could have had a part in their creation.  
  
I don't remember what it feels like to have a good nights sleep anymore. I know there had to have been sometime in my 14 years, when I didn't have the nightmares. But it's been so long, I can't even remember....  
  
At times I don't even realize when the nightmare stops and reality begins. All the images seem to muddle together, collecting in a centrifuge of confusion and turmoil. Various visions of people, faces, places, who I've never seen, heard of, or been to...  
  
Angels... Demons... Monsters... Heaven... Hell...  
  
Countless other illusions bombarding my dreams. Grouped together with thousands of nameless faces and figures. Each masquerading in an endless medley of horror and chaos!  
  
These visions seem more real then just nightly illusions, yet how can it be true? But how can it be false too, it always seems like I'm there. Like I was in the center of all the chaos, all the madness.  
  
Voices...Numerous voices calling for me. But one always seems to stand out above the rest... It's weird all the other send chills down my spine...but that one...That one seems to bring me peace.  
  
But it makes no difference!  
  
I can't continue on like this!!! I need release. The pain. The visions. The torment. I need freedom from the wretched existence that is my life. I have to escape from it all. ...And I found it  
  
I know how to make all the confusion, all the pain, all the visions go away.  
  
Just one...Just one careful incision. A nice deep laceration...and then the pain will end. Then...YES then I can find it. Find the peace I so wanted.  
  
I have already planned out my actions carefully. I knew the Old man and women, would be gone for the afternoon, so it allowed me an opportunity. So there couldn't possibly be any interference from them.  
  
My Uncle and Aunt, I have stayed with you ever since my father left me. And I've known ever since then, you've resented my presence here. I know...I know...this is better for them. This will bring them a great relief, as well as my own.  
  
So with a shaky hand I drew for the blade. I'm nervous...Why am I nervous?...This is what I want. This is the only solution that's possible. Who cares if it is without reason!!! Who cares if it doesn't make sense!!! I WANT THIS TO END!!! THIS HAS TO END!!!  
  
"Shinji..." My aunt's voice. She shouldn't be back till later on. "Shinji..." She repeated again. Waiting for my response. As well as for me to open the door.  
  
Slowly I crept over to the doorway and opened it to a crack. As I did, I looked into the semi-dulled expression on my Aunt's face. I think out of the two of them, she resented my presence the most. She always hated my resemblance to my father. "Yes, Auntie?" I politely asked her.  
  
"You received a letter in the mail today." She stated while handing an envelope to me.  
  
I retrieved it from her and looked at the return address. It was from Tokyo III. That newly developed section in Tokyo that was created after the 2nd Impact. As I opened the letter, I noticed that my Aunt already left me without a word. No matter...  
  
Shinji Ikari,  
  
Your presence is required in Tokyo III, by the authority of Nerv.  
  
Commander Ikari  
  
For a long time I just started at the one-sentenced letter. It had been many years since I've heard anything from father. I barely remember what his face looks like. But then it resurfaced. The coldness, the unfeeling presence that was always received ever since Mother passed.  
  
Why would he want me now? What was his purpose? There had to be some reason for it. Whatever the case...a gleaming light drew my attention. The steel from the blade. The blade... I stared at the letter, then to the blade.  
  
After a few more minutes of debating, I slowly placed the blade down onto my table. I know there probably is a thousand reasons for me not to go to see my father and continue with my previous act. But in that instant I didn't hear any of them. All I could think of was that one voice that always stood out in my mind when all things were going to hell.  
  
"Come find me again..."  
  
The voice with no face. So many times the voice brought a sense of ease to my ever raging sanity. "I will..." I answered back to the empty room. "I will..."  
  
To be continue... 


End file.
